Is money really everything? I think money is absolutely not everything in life but almost everything is about money.
Money can buy you things, education, freedom, impact, the ability to contribute, security, and the most limited resources on this planet – time. You can use it to remove unhappiness in your life, which in turn can increase your happiness.
Human needs food, clothing, and shelter and they require money. That’s why most people spend a lot of time in their life working because they need money to stay alive.
Money itself is just a piece of paper – what human is after the experience and feeling associated with money. It could be the sense of freedom, contribution, accomplishment, or comfort.
Money does not solve every problem, but it solves almost every problem.
For example, with money – you can walk away from the job you hate, or you can stop working for a year and pursue your art career or business.
Money is not everything, but it is everything when you don’t have money.
I grew up seeing my parents working hard to focus on getting food on the table. When I was a little, I remember seeing my mom was crying on the balcony over financial hardship.
Life is indeed more stressful when you have to live paycheck to paycheck. The amount of stress is magnified when you have a money problem. And, money can reduce that stress instantly for sure.
Money gets a bad rap sometimes because people associate money with greediness.
Prioritizing money does not mean you are greedy, but it simply means you are being smart in life.
So is money everything? I don’t think it is absolutely everything – but I think people should definitely care and put that as a priority in their life.
What money can buy you
I came across someone who will spend his paycheck every time he gets one, and I feel bad for him. Maybe he associates money with greediness or maybe he does not understand how important having money is. But whatever his reason is, these are a few reasons why you should care.
Money gives you freedom
I think the ultimate power of having money is freedom over your time. If you have $1M in the bank account – would you still do what you do now? Or – would you go and live out your dreams?
Imagine you wake up and you can work on whatever you want. What would that be? Your craft project? Your house? Volunteer at your community?
Work can become so much fun when taking the monetary part out of the equation.
Now, does this a guaranteed way to make you happy? Not necessarily – it depends on how much you value freedom and what you do with your free time. But you’ll have more options and two options are better than one.
Money empowers you
Did you ever hear about a phrase that says “people don’t quit their job, but they leave their bosses”? I did not understand this at first – but as I moved to different companies, I realize there are so many unqualified leaders out there.
There is so much butt kissing in the corporate world and companies tend to promote the best engineer, scientist, or salesman who may not be the right person to lead a team.
And there could be other reasons that caused this, but when things start to go really bad at work – or you may have an urgent situation to take care of, it’s nice knowing that you are not trapped and can walk away anytime.
Money can speed up your learning
When you have money – you can certainly hire an expert to help reach your goal quicker.
Students get a private tutor to increase their SAT/GMAT score.
Music artists hire a vocal coach to help them get better at singing.
Blogger takes a training session with an SEO expert.
VPs and managers hire a coach to help them with their leadership and charisma.
You can take classes online to beat your procrastination habit or learn to edit a video.
And many other examples.
With money, it is very possible to make the learning process less daunting, more enjoyable and more effective.
Money buys you things and experience
There are things to do that don’t cost you money, but generally, most things (food, rent, insurance, hotels, education, airplane tickets) require money.
When you have money to spend on, you can buy experiences such as vacations, concerts and more. This may not last as long as material things, but it is a memory that you can carry for the rest of your life.
Money can save your life during an emergency situation
At least in the US, public and private hospitals cannot refuse to treat a person with a life-threatening or serious medical condition, even though they don’t have the ability to pay.
However, in many underdeveloped and developing countries – sadly, this is not the case. It is unfair, but you can, in fact, be rejected by the hospital if you can’t pay some sort of deposit and there are countless cases out there where patients die because of lack of funding.
When money is not everything
Money is so important to our lives and happiness – but thankfully, life is not just about money.
There are things that money cannot buy such as meaningful friendship, meaningful work, self-actualization, and self-worth.
Money can help you achieve a healthier lifestyle or lost weight, for instance buying you a gym membership or a treadmill, but you still have to exercise and get on your diet at the end of the day.
Money can buy you expensive grand piano and a teacher, but you still have to put hours into practice.
Money can still buy you airplane tickets, but it is still you who will go out your way to visit your friend.
On the other side of the coin, some people who pursue FIRE (Financial Independent Retire Early) may think that they’ll finally find happiness once they achieve FI.
They strive for FIRE, save a lot, and after achieving FI, they may find that consumption-based retirement (sitting on the beach, watching TV) may actually be boring and unproductive.
Or, they regretted that they stick to the career they hate for eight years and that’s all they can find. They might wish they were not living their life in the future but lived presently back then.
This is another thing that money can’t do – it can’t bring back the time that already passed.
Most people derive happiness from being productive. This is probably what people should do if they hate their job – finding work where they can enjoy, be good at, and be valued by other people.
I thought that once I have enough money to retire (I am still far from being FI), I’ll focus more on my music composing skills.
But the truth is, even during the weekend, I have all day to work on it but I kept finding excuses to work on something else. The truth is I am afraid to find out that my music skills suck. I need to get over my fear and money doesn’t help me in this case.
Having said that, I am not belittling the importance of money. Money is still a great tool for happiness. If you use it correctly, there are countless ways to improve your lives and the people around you.
When you let money to control you
This is when people start to become unhappy, even evil in some cases.
Money is a great servant but a bad master – Francis Bacon
I have a confession – I let money control myself sometimes 😢.
For example:
- My emergency fund is too large (longer than 12 months). This means I am losing out on potential gains and dividends, and I think about it often.
- I think about big money mistakes in the past.
- I frequently read other personal finance blogs. I sometimes compare myself financially with them. I feel that I am nowhere as good as they are.
- I obsessed over what if’s. What if I don’t have enough for my mom’s retirement?
If you feel the same way – here are a few things to consider (things that I keep reminding myself):
Worrying is bad for you
Worrying too much can only steal your joy and seem a waste of time. Worry is bad for your health because it can trigger “stress hormone” and affect you physically such as reducing your immune system and increasing blood pressure.
It can also affect your sleep and decision-making ability. Eventually, it may trickle into other parts of your life like your relationship. When you are on your death bed, you probably wish you let yourself be happier and worry less.
Make a plan, face your fear and do your best to improve your finances
If the amount of your debt haunts you or you are trying to build your wealth – you want to start cutting your expenses, save more money and start to invest. You may also want to consider finding higher-paying jobs. If you tend to impulse buy like me, it helps to find an activity that doesn’t cost you money to fill your time.
Right now, you may feel anxious and worry, but as soon as you make progress – you will feel better and start taking more actions towards your financial goal.
Comparison is the root of unhappiness
In almost anything, comparing yourself is the thief of joy and damaging to the sense of self. The highlight in the social media you see could be a part of the puzzle. The success of the person you compared to could mean that they have worked hard for it for so long, or maybe they got a lucky break. Comparing yourself is a losing battle and they don’t help to accomplish your goal.
Even though I know this, my brain sometimes automatically makes a comparison – so I try to reduce my time on social media and remind myself of my progress.
Forgive yourself for your money mistakes
There are numerous times I regretted my purchase and financial mistakes. I wish I had saved more, I wish I did not listen to my neighbors to purchase a house, I wish I bought more stocks when the price fell, etc .. but thinking about it only makes me feel worse. I decided to let go of my past mistakes and look forward to the future.
Start to count your graces
Counting your blessings can help you feel more positive. Instead of focusing on the things you don’t have, focus on the things you have.
I found Negative visualization is quite helpful.
Basically, you imagine the worst-case scenario happen to you and it makes you realize things are not so bad. When I imagine my family is gone and I am sitting alone in the apartment, I started to feel better and appreciate what I have.
Question your personal value
If money becomes one of your personal values, it’s probably not a good thing. The author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson, mentioned that one of the criteria of good values is controllable. You don’t have 100% control over money because the economy can collapse, you could get laid off or you/your loved ones could experience tragedy and pay hefty hospital bills.
Having money as your personal value means you will always need more money.
Instead of using net worth as your measurement of life success – perhaps it is helpful to ask yourself why you think money is important? Is that because it gives you freedom? Is it because it provides you with security and more time with family? Freedom and security are a better value to use because they are more abstract and controllable.
Vi, a software engineer with a keen interest in personal finance, had planned to retire once she reached her lean FI/RE (Financial Independence/Retire Early) goal. However, after achieving the goal, she took few months of a mini-retirement filled with travel and adventure and decided to continue her career.
For the past five years, Vi has been using Personal Capital (Empower), a free financial tool. Her favorite features include the dashboard for net worth, allocation, and planning, which help track her FI/RE goal and keep those investment fees in check.